You are viewing brunettemama

07 July 2008 @ 11:40 pm
I am 33 today!  And that is a huge blessing.  How I ever made it though my crazy, hazy early collegiate years, I'll never I ever made it through natural childbirth, I'll never quite know the answer to that one either.  But either way, I have made it to 33!  Whoo hoo!!

Sorry to make this so short friends, but I am enjoying my sangria/margarita happiness from Ted's Escondido Cafe compliments of Michelle and John. 

But 33?  Huge blessing!

PS.  Will be posting with the obligatory sombrero shot when Michelle gets the opportunity to post the photos! 
06 July 2008 @ 11:58 pm
Today's blessing is really simple. 

It's the last day I'm 32 years old. 

I'm still in one piece (debatable), I have my family, I have my friends, and we all have our health. 

It honestly can't get any better.
05 July 2008 @ 11:28 pm
Poor baby Logan has been sick since Wednesday.  At first it all started with a mere trickle of snot from her wee nostrils.  Then it  progressed to a thin, flowy stream of snot.  THEN it progressed to a full blown, antifreeze colored green sticky snot.  It plasters itself to the sides of her cheeks and dries to her face like a dried clay mask left on way too long.  And yeah, I know...some parents talk about the texture, shape, and frequency of their kid's poop but not me!!  I go for the more contemporary and cosmopolitan talk of facial mucous secretions (aka snot).

But today lil' wee one started screeching in pain when she would tried to nurse.  Here was the pattern:  suck, .14 seconds later...blood curdling scream, back arching, then calm.  Then repeat!  If I were to write this as a knitting pattern, I think it would look something like this:

Row 1: * k
Row 2:  sl all sts
Row 3:  drop all sts
Row 4:  just frog it*
repeat from * if you feel brave

So this leads me to my blessings for today. 

#1:  A 35 minute total (yes, total!) trip to the urgent care clinic.  That is from sign-in to walking out the door with a prescription.  Yeah, I know.  Must've been a blue moon!


#2:  The sweet, orangey taste of penicillin!  Thank you, Sir Alexander Fleming for discovering penicillin.  I love you for discovering a drug that cures cellulitis, gonorrhea, meningitis, syphillis (ever see that Grey's Anatomy episode?), tonsilitis, and debately:  ear infections. 

How can I not love a drug that helps my daughter feel better and solves the syphilis outbreak on Grey's?!

Now, if only fresh episode of Grey's were out right now in conjunction with my daughter's improving health, then I'd really, really be blessed! 
04 July 2008 @ 07:07 pm
Independence is my blessing for today.

It seems appropriate seeing as how it's "Independence Day" today, but I'm blessed for my independence from times past.  Thank goodness for times past!!  I love the feeling of breaking free from something that felt like it was teethering me down.  And more specifically,  the independence from over-commiting myself to other people, projects, or whatever.

As I look back now at my past and think about the blessings in my life now, today this pops to the top of my list. 

I think that over-committing is a massive character flaw in so many people.  If I had to guess, I would think that it is an affliction most often perpetuated by women.  Although I think that when it comes to work (such as their careers), I think men suffer a ton from over-committing themselves as well.  And quite honestly, I have gotten to a point where I still feel awkward and sometimes even slightly guilty if I tell someone I don't want to do something but then I realize that I must listen to my own inner voice.  And if doing whatever feels uncomfortable, or if I think it will add undue stress into my life then I just say:  nope!  And then just press from there. 

The way I see it, if my response makes someone upset then I welcome an open dialog!  I am glad (nary:  ecstatic) to share my schedule with others.  If something is that important to someone for me to attend/do/whatever even after I said no, then maybe they can help me figure out a way to make it all work!  But if not, I will feel no guilt.  Because in the grand scheme of things, I know that I still have to put myself, my mental health, and my happiness first.  If those aren't in check, I feel like an inadequate mother and wife.  And those are two roles where being inadequate is a detriment.

So yay for independence from over-committing! 
03 July 2008 @ 11:38 pm
Today's blessing that I have recognized is sleep. 

I wish I had something witty to say about it but I really don't.  I am exhausted, stressed out, and not seeing the bright side of life today and the only blessing I can see in front of me (besides my children and husband...and they are topics for another day) is sleep. 

I'll take it in the form of a nap or just a good night's rest!  Funny though, I am napping more now that Logan is older than I did when she was younger.  Hmmm...still haven't figured that one out yet....

Now, if Satan's spawn located in a house seemingly near to mine just stopped shooting off fireworks at 11:41pm I could seriously get some sleep!

I have a feeling that tomorrow I will be blessed by cathartic crying.  Stay tuned.
02 July 2008 @ 11:04 pm
Today's installment of my daily blessings is brought to you today by the letter "I".  I for Industrial Arts.

Now stick with me here....

When I was in the seventh grade, I was extremely persistent in wanting to take Home Economics class when I lived at Yokota Air Base, Japan.  The eleven year old me didn't know much back then, but I knew well enough that Home Ec. was essential! 

Now, before it is perceived that I wanted to be Miss Molly-Homemaker, please understand that nothing could be further from the truth.  Back then, I wanted to be an archaeologist and Egyptologist.  I did not want to stay home and become a domestic engineer.  I was no budding Martha Stewart.  But I did want to know how to construct things from cloth (I found the whole process magical).  I wanted to know how to construct meals.  I badly wanted to learn how to make things with my own two hands.

So, when we all had the chance to pick our electives for the upcoming semester at school, I always, always, always listed Home Ec. as my number one choice.  Followed by art and nothing else very exciting because I don't even remember.  But Home Ec. was always my first choice.

Before I proceed, I just have to add that I went to a DoDDs school (an American school on a military base for military dependents) that had grades 7-12 all under the same roof.  Or should I say, on the same campus.  Yes, it was a HUGE campus.  And one of the neat things was choosing electives.  And starting in the 7th grade, I immediately chose Home Ec. as my elective.

But alas, it wasn't meant to be.  Yet.

Instead, during every semester at school my seventh grade year, I was saddled with Industrial Arts class.  And when I first saw Industrial Arts on my upcoming schedule, I was so bummed.  Whilst I knew I wanted to construct things with my hands, I did not want to construct things out of wood with my hands.  In my mind, this was a boy's hobby.  It would be too complicated!!  This I strongly thought.  But, God or the computer program in charge of student schedules decided that Industrial Arts would be my one elective for a whole year.  And was great.

I discovered a love of working with wood.  I enjoyed taking measurements, using table saws, band saws, electric sanders, and all of the other wood working accoutrement.  I even got a kick out of being the only girl in a classroom full of idiotic boys who would gleek on each other and play paper football while roll was being called.  But in that one seventh grade year of Industrial Arts class, I had a soul stirring empowering experience.  I was shocked in myself that I enjoyed learning how to use tools, how to take measurements, how to build shelves, and other woodworked items.   Taking Industrial Arts class first gave me the confidence to know that I could work with materials I once found intimidating.  And it taught me that even though I was a girl, I could do anything, fix anything, build anything. 

The next year I did get to take Home Ec. class for an entire year, and I did get to learn how to make clothes, cook food, how to read a nutrition label, how to put together a place setting, etc.  And while that has stuck with me and will always be with me (as is evident by my voracious need to knit, cook, and sew), Industrial Arts class taught me something else entirely....

To this day, I am not scared to take the dishwasher out from the wall, disconnect it, find the owners manual for it online, and take it apart to find out why it's malfunctioning (and putting it back together, too).  I am not scared to take the door panel off my Honda Accord's driver's side door to figure out why the window won't roll back up.  I am not scared to disassemble my sewing machine in order to service it myself instead paying $50 for someone to do it for me.  I am not scared of finding the root cause of a washing machine leak that flooded out the pantry of our third floor apartment.  I am not scared of changing the oil in a Dodge Caravan while having half the car propped up on a curb.  These are all things I've done. 

And in that empowerment I first felt when I was eleven, I knew then that I wanted to be dependent on my own skills and not the skills of others.  And I'm so grateful for that.  Because where would I be now if I never learned that lesson?  How would I handle the life I have now?  I have to be terribly, terribly self-sufficient.  A problem solver.  A decision maker.  With Greg's career, there are no options in that arena in regards to being his spouse.  With his job schedule being excrutiatingly complicated, it's either do what needs to be done myself or stress trying to find someone to do it for me. 

I hope that I can teach my daughters this lesson of empowerment and independence as they grow older.  Because I'm not too sure if they offer Industrial Arts class anymore....
01 July 2008 @ 10:34 pm
So Day 2 of my two week blessings tracker has me discovering that today I am blessed by free will (and not necessarily my own).

Yes, free will.  But while it is a blessing (like today for me), it is certainly a double edged sword and can be a burning arrow in the bum as well.  But the more I started thinking about my blessings today, the more I realized that I am where I am because of free will (of my own doing and from the free will of others, too).

Case in point...I feel blessed by God (because I believe in God) through the gift of my family.  Greg, Emma, Logan.  Even Sadie.  My family.  But they were totally a product of free will.  This is where my point comes in. 

I was once previously married for seven years.  I will not go into any details as to the demise of my previous marriage, nor will I disparage my ex.  I refuse to put that kind of toxic energy into the universe.  But I will say that it indeed ended through the free will of my ex.  And as much as I didn't understand the why's at that time, I knew all too well that it was his choice--his free will--to do whatever he wanted to do.  And back then it was my free will that made me press ahead...move forward.  And as a result, I have the amazing family I have now. 

If I had stayed in that previous marriage, I would not have the life I have now.  I would not have Greg (a man who doesn't judge me, who doesn't compare me to others, who accepts me for my faults and imperfections).  I would not have Logan.  I would not have Sadie.  I would not have made the indelible friendships I have made (the type of friendships that change a person for the better).  I would not have experienced even 1/10th of what I have experienced thus far. 

And for that...a free will decision made by someone else three years ago, I am more blessed in this moment right now than I was in seven years of my previous marriage.

30 June 2008 @ 11:49 pm
Behold, friends and lurkers alike...I am finally posting again! And I will give you my answer as to why I am posting again after my hiatus. No, there aren't any excuses this time because I am not sorry for my reason of not posting. It was simply life. But it was a month in my life I just couldn't find the right words to use to put my life in the right frame and context. So I'll just let you know that I have been sewing, I have been cooking (in the microwave), and I have been doing a LOT of knitting.

But that leads to me to what has spurred me on to write again. And it's plain and simple. I have accepted a challenge by This Military Mama to document what I perceive my daily blessings to be for two weeks. And honestly, since I accepted the challenge earlier today, I have thought a lot about it. I noticed myself keenly aware of being in the moment...observing the details...ignoring the past, ignoring the future, but instead, being crazy aware of the present.  And in that, I count that as my first blessing for today.  This challenge.  It is a blessing.  It has made me stop and live for right now.  Not live for the future, not mulling around in the past, but being aware of the here and now.  And the awesome thing is that I have found that I am not only a participant in my own life but also an observer of it, too.  Does that make sense?  Maybe not.  But it does to me. 

And secondly, I am blessed by the day.  I can confidently and triumphantly say that today was my day.  Every detail, every speck.  It was my day.  Remember in the movie "While You Were Sleeping" when the father from Everybody Loves Raymond was talking to Bill Pullman over a box of donuts and he tell his son:  "You know what's wrong right now?  Nothing.  Everything is right with the world."  THAT is how I feel.  And here's why...Emma came home today!!!!!  After one challenging month apart, Emma finally came back home from Arizona.  And she's right back to where she belongs.  With her true family.  Her family that knows her manners are impeccable.  Her family that would bend over backwards for her.  Her family that would buy her a memory card for a camera we didn't buy her.  Her family that will get her an "Indian flute" as a present because we know her cues when she expresses and interest in something.  I am so amazingly happy she is home!  And I am blessed by her.  By this day.  By being her mother.

Okay, I may be getting ahead of myself right now.  But these are all things I feel blessed by.  My daily blessings.

And lastly but in no way least, I am blessed by my friends:  Chewy and Michelle.  Today they supported me, loved me, helped me, and loved me even more...but best of all, loved my kids (and continue to do so). 

I'm a mature enough, experienced enough woman to know that not everyday will be like this.  But I am ready to observe my life in a different way for the next two weeks.  I am ready to see even more blessings in my day-to-day life.  Are you?
04 June 2008 @ 10:40 pm
Here's a little something to tide you all over!

23 May 2008 @ 09:23 pm
This story made me cry with the gratefulness of knowing that there are people in this world who care about other strangers before themselves.

In a world of angry drivers, thoughtless cashiers, people in crowds that could care less if you breathed or not...and not to mention all the criminals, murderers, rapists, thieves...his story gives me hope for the future.  And not by way of being "green" or saving on energy, but that the human spirit is still alive in some.  I can't help but think that if more people just helped others without being asked to help, then this world might still be a great place for my girls when they grow up.

Please read this.